Desert Island Discs

My parents are not musical and not really interested in music. My Mum once bought a Pat Boone record only to have it smashed on the way home from the shop by some trouble-causing Teds. My Dad was once asked for directions by The Searchers and was disgusted when, unable to help them, they called him a, “Stupid fucking Paddy”. Those aren’t great formative musical experiences by any stretch – I mean, Pat Boone?!

My Dad did love American Country & Western, particularly Johnny Cash and Don Williams. Our record collection was some of that, Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker Suite… and the soundtrack to Hair, The Musical which must have be a very unwanted present.

Somehow, out of all of that, I did manage to have a love of music from almost the very start. My first musical memory is hearing, “Red Sails in the Sunset” on the radio but the soundtrack of my childhood is ABBA. There was loads of other stuff going on of course – I toyed with affection for The Bay City Rollers but that was only cos older girls did and I was aware of Bowie (ha ha! He has funny hair! And a funny eye!) and Slade (loud and very English) but it was ABBA that captured my heart. The girls were beautiful, the songs were emotional and it sparked in me a love of harmonies in singing that I have carried every since.

So my first song is the first record I bought with my own money. I went to the record shop in Holywood, handed over 75p and came home with this…

I practised the words and all the harmonies. I wanted to be Agnetha and Frieda. I loved them then and I love them now.

And I stuck with them to the end although other things began to creep in. Specifically, I can remember now exactly where I was when I heard this next song and this band have stuck with me through it all. Madness are the backbone to my teenage years. Even when I dabbled with Paul Young and The Police and other stuff, Madness, Two Tone and ska were my first teenage love and first love never dies, right?

So I was coming out of my bedroom at the top of our tall terraced house and this came on the radio. I hear it and I’m right back there. It absolutely changed everything about me. After this, I wasn’t just a teenager who liked some music, I became totally addicted to music and infatuated with Madness in particular. There is nothing greater than that first musical passion. All the rest pale into shadows of that first true love. When Madness came on the radio, I couldn’t move until the song was over. I cut out the word, “Madness” from everywhere I seen it and stuck them all to the front of my Madness scrapbooks. I learnt off all their autographs and I still have all the singles, lots of 12″ singles, picture discs, remixes and flexidiscs. I cried when I heard Suggs got married (curse you, Betty Bright!). Aaah, happy days.

I started going to teenage discos, the soundtrack to which were Two Tone tunes, AC/DC, Stiff Little Fingers and the like. No more girly pop for me! But this song – this song – is my favourite tune of all time. You can fall in love with a song at any time but there’s something about actually being there at its release, about hearing it on the radio when it was still totally new and fresh. That doesn’t leave you. I adore this song, love it with all my heart. It was us at that time. All the fellas wore what they wore and looked like they looked (except Fergal, who looked weird, even to us). Plus they were from here. They were our boys. The greatest pop single of all time…

I’ve just brought it up on YouTube and had to listen to the whole thing yet again. Yes, everyone loves, “Teenage Kicks” but it’s this one we chanted along to, pogoed to and shouted, “AND BIONICS!!!!” at the tops of our voices to.

But I grew up. Started to work in a bank. Moved back to Belfast. Drank heavily. In a good way! It was 1987. We all went to the one local disco. It was called The Crescent and located in a really dodgy loyalist part of south Belfast but it was for the ones who didn’t go to university or didn’t want to spend their time in the Students’ Union – the cool kids. It had sticky carpet, rubbish drink and UDA men on the door but it was the best night out.

The end of the 80s was absolutely rubbish for music. It was all power ballads, Stock Aiken and Waterman and terrible, badly-produced rubbish. I had stopped buying Smash Hits when Jason Donovan appeared on the cover twice in a row. I almost stopped buying singles.

Finally, I gave up being grown up and went to university. And it changed everything about my life. I thought it only right to completely throw myself into student life and it was the best thing I ever did. As I graduated in 1992, dance music started to creep into my life. I had the best bunch of friends and had a fabulous time. My soundtrack was dance music, our film was Trainspotting and this was the song. Actually, I could pick any Underworld song from this time and I still love them all but this was the one, obvious though it is. I spent some of the best times of my life “shouting, ‘Lager! Lager! Lager!'”

In 1994, I moved to Cincinnati Ohio. Apparently dance music didn’t exist there so instead I began to go to local bands (and British ones trying to crack the US scene through the college circuit – Spiritualized, Blur and others). I was suddenly the cool foreigner, introducing my friends to cool sounds from across the water. It is my fault Oasis had a little following in Ohio in 1995. And I got into music I hadn’t really known about: Nine Inch Nails, Soundgarden, Nirvana (a bit late but “Unplugged” is still a favourite album). I tried to keep in touch with stuff from home though. I heard this and it blew me away. It’s an amazing song from an album that was really like nothing else at the time.

I moved back to Belfast for one year in 1995/96. All my friends were still around, we fell back into the scene and went to clubs, shows, anything on offer. And we went to see Pulp. And although this song is somewhat played to death now, seeing Jarvis live – legs flailing everywhere, arms most elastic than Andrew Marr. Beautiful man. Wonderful lyrics – everyone knows them but they bear proper listening.

Once I moved back to the States, somehow it was harder to keep up with music stuff as I worked, had a relationship with a man who loved Simply Red (what was I thinking?!) and then had my child. But around this time, I found an online music forum and again, my life changed. No really. Without it, I wouldn’t own any Nick Drake, I wouldn’t know who John Martyn was, Teenage Fan Club, The Stooges – any amount of stuff. I wouldn’t have been able to really explore the world of ska or to learn about 60s psychedelic. I’ll never like The Fall though. :-D

I have a song that combines that forum with the love of my life, my child. When he was born, I started a thread to ask for a baby soundtrack and from it, came this which I still just love and sing to him.

How many songs as I at now? Seven. I want one more for my life. No, I want two! Bah! Oh ok… I can’t fit this in anywhere in my life but I have to go with this. It makes me want to sing it out loud. I love everything about it. No other reason than that.

My book is Shakespeare. Do I get to take one more book? I’d like the collected writings of Brian O’Nolan in all his guises (Flann O’Brien, Myles NaGopaleen etc). A never-ending source of surreal humour and Irishness. My luxury item… limitless pens and paper so I can write that novel that I am so sure is inside me ;-)

And my one song… “My Perfect Cousin”.